OH NO I ACTUALLY DID AN INTERACTION ON HERE.

[thetransintransgenic]

LIKE AN UNSOLICITED COMMENT

EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT SHE LITERALLY ENDED HER POST "What else would you like to see?"

WHAT IF I WAS RUDE??
AND/OR INVASIVE????

... okay yeah it was probably fine.

Comments

[deborah]

*hugs*

I was totally glad to see your comment. I asked because I wanted to know. And it's nice to meet you. :)

[flamingsword]

We are all shouting into the void on here. It's always kinda neat when the void shouts back.

Opinion: even when people are rude, it is still, on some level, validating to me. If people thought us to be their intellectual inferiors, why would they bother to tell us when they disagree, why open a dialogue at all? And sometimes people being rude is a signal that We Have Fucked Up, which is important to know, so that we don't keep fucking up. And sometimes people are rude because they suspect that they are fucking up and feel that your lived experience is some form of criticism of their experiences, and they get to keep that feeling unless or until someone takes the time and effort to talk them around.

None of those are bad things. Err on the side of connection.

[thetransintransgenic]

Thanks! It's nice meeting you too.

(I'm just, awkward, about social interactioning.)

[deborah]

If you don't mind me commenting, I think this is lovely: Err on the side of connection. And I agree, I've had people school me at Dreamwidth and after I got over the immediate reactions it's been very useful to basically have people say to me, "hey, your fly is down and your butt is showing."

That being said, it's partially because DW has generally got a great culture. I've had people school me on other social networks and plenty of them are just being jerks. There's a balance to connection and I think we've got a pretty good balance here.

virality vs accountability

[flamingsword]

Because tumblr has reblogs and DW doesn't, one encourages a culture of your words showing up in the feed of someone with no emotional connection to you, thus things designed for viral spread also encourage dogpiling and purity culture. Things that don't facilitate viral spread, like DW, have a culture of your fly being down only among people who are your friends or who are seeking you out deliberately.

It means people generally use a gentler approach than they would with complete strangers, and thus fosters a culture of greater inclusivity and civility.